I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
so much tequila, so little girl.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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