i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
