so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
