i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
