It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
