just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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