I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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