drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
