I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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