I will die if light touches me.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I am mentally ready for anal.
there is glitter all over my balls
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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