I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
