i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
So here I am, sexting at work.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize