This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
