she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
