you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
