He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
