Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
