i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
