you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
