We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
