I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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