We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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