We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You just made me feel so damn special
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
