OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
