i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
