you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
