Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
