Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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