Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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