I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
