You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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