No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
