Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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