I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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