My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
