Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
