have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
