I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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