You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
