everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
