im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
