No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
