Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
