So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
