at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
