Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
