Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
how drunk are you?
Several
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
