David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
