The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
