I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Fuck me I smell like cheese
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
